God is good. [not a studio journal entry]

Dear friends,

Thank you so much for all your prayer, encouragement, and kind words. God has truly blessed me with each and every one of you in my life.

As both Mrs. Wells and Jessica commented on my last note, the surgery was a complete success. God pulled me through and nothing could have gone any better than it did.

The cholestoma was gone so the surgery was just reconnecting the two bones.

I am expected to recover much quicker than last time due to the fact that I didn't get sick (they gave me anti-nausea meds before and during surgery), I am not in nearly as much pain as I was last time (we had to stay at the hospital for 11 hours last time, after the surgery, even longer in total), and this surgery only took 40 minutes as compared to the nearly 2.5 hour surgery I had last summer.

I am in some pain, but I honestly do not care all that much. God has brought me through victoriously and I should never need another surgery on that ear ever again.

I also learned more about the cholestoma. If it had come back, the canal wall down procedure that would have had to take place was bad for several reasons.
1) the cholestoma needed to be removed if it was there because those can grow out of control and be fatal
2) canal wall down leaves the patient vulnerable to more ear infections and bacterial growth, thus making more ear drum holes
3) canal wall down greatly effects the hearing of the ear in which it takes place

I am so blessed by the outcome of this surgery and I am in awe of God's great love.

Thank you everyone who either called me, IMed me, prayed for me, texted me, emailed me, etc. It means more to me than you could ever know.

Please continue to pray for me this next month that I will have a quick and safe recovery.

God Bless,
♥ Carl

I need your prayer [not a studio journal entry]

I haven't been completely honest with everyone around me. Even some of my closest friends. I stated some things about my first surgery in one of my first entries in this but I didn't write much about the second surgery because I didn't know very much. Let me reiterate some of the things from my first note.

I have bad hearing and wear in-ear hearing aids.

Last summer I had surgery on my left eardrum because I had two holes in it from an infection.

This surgery was not completely effective because they found a cholestoma (skin growth) on one of my 3 hearing bones.

They had to remove this after reconstructing my eardrum and then disconnect 2 of the bones, leaving me unable to hear well out of my left ear.

I now (tomorrow morning) am returning to the same surgeon to have those two bones connected.

Although this is a much easier surgery, if the cholestoma is back, they need to preform a canal wall down procedure.
(this is a picture of what my ear would look like after that: http://www.susmedicos.com/articulos_otologia_timpanoplastia_archivos/photo_1.jpg)

I have been scared out of my mind for the past week because it's finally here.

I finally told my best friend who is also my amazing girlfriend, two nights ago, just how scared I am.

She told me the best thing anyone could have told me at that point. That God will do whatever's best for me and no matter how it turns out, I need to realize that. She also gave me this scripture: 1 Peter 5:7.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you"

I love this verse and it has helped a lot, but until after I dropped her off at her house today, I had not done quite this.

On my way home I prayed the most difficult, sincere, painful, intense prayer that I have ever prayed in my life.

But I'm done worrying, my life is in his hands.

Thank you if you read this all the way through, it means a lot to me.

If the hearing aid thing is new information for you...please don't treat me differently, it is the main reason my hair is still long, because I am so self-conscious of them.

My one other request is that you would please pray for me and my surgeon for tomorrow morning.

Thank you so much.
♥ Carl

RECORDING!!!

Well, I am now home from college and have begun to record!!!!

What I did today:

I worked on the song "Dance With Me"
I wrote a new drum part
Recorded the final guitar.
Got the vocals almost perfect.
Added drums and bass (programmed) for feel

I will record bass soon and record Andy on drums...

I'll try to get a taste up soon.

It's really turning out pretty sweet right now and I'm really excited!

♥ Carl

New Stuff Posted!!

There are several new things to find on my myspace page:

1) my acoustic cover of "reinventing your exit" by underoath (just for fun, not from patience) for download
2) "staring at the stars" is back up
3) a newer version of "new song demo" which is now named "by faith, not sight"
4) the cover art for patience!
5) My 2nd top friend "dcworship" (www.myspace.com/dcworship) is devin pogue and my worship project!

Love you all,
♥ carl

Album Art

This is almost done.

:)

♥ carl

Pre-production update

I have almost demoed all of the songs out, there are only a few left to do.

The track list besides the 2 bonus songs are all figured out and are as follows:

"Patience"
by faith, not sight
blinded by the lights
who are you?
dance with me
coffee (copeland cover)
salt & pepper
to the moon!
staring at the stars
honey, I’m home!
so aware, so careless
patience

This is not the definite order and there will be 1-2 bonus tracks at the end

Andy Coad will do most, if not all, of the drums on this CD.
Devin Pogue may appear in one or more songs for backup vocals.
Jessica Wells will sing on one or more of the songs.

I may begin recording this upcoming weekend. Probably only one or two songs at most for now though.
I may put up some demos on myspace soon.

♥ carl

News

I have decided that since I do not use this blog very often that I am going to change it's use.

I am recording my debut album, "Patience", this summer.

This blog will now be used as my studio blog to give updates on recording.

Currently I have demoed almost the entire CD, but that doesn't mean much.

More Info coming soon!

♥ Carl

p.s. expect an EP (or new CD) after this because I have been writing a lot lately!

My Mind Does Not Know Best

It's been a while
Since I've slept so sound
My attempts all fail
They keep me bound

Every second lasts forever
And keeps me far away
From this life affirming slumber
That takes me from today

I long to rest deep and full
But my mind will not stop
My body may have been lulled
But my mind won't let it drop

My mind will not let me rest
Although my body needs to
My mind does not know best
But keeps on pushing me through

My mind will not stop
My mind won't let it drop
My mind will not let me rest
My mind does not know best

----------------------

I've been having some trouble sleeping if you can't tell...it's quite frustrating
♥ carl

Advent

I attended Vespers (Thursday Night Chapel) last night to only be stirred in an interesting fashion.

Advent is anticipation, and the Advent season is anticipating Christmas- Christ's Birth.

I cannot remember the last time that I actually looked forward to celebrating the birth of my savior.

I always say how I hate the commercialization of Christmas and how it has lost its' meaning through all the traditions, Santa, and all that crap, but honestly I'm just as caught up in that stuff as the next person, in a different way though.

Most people spend all their time enjoying all the festivities and partaking in whatever Christmas has been made into. I spend all my time hating what its' become in America's eyes.

This year I'm going to have Christmas mean more to me in a few different ways.

1. I'm going to focus on being joyous about the birth of Christ

2. I'm not going to worry about how other people celebrate the holiday

3. I'm going to take the holiday seriously as well, remember that its' about Christ

I think that's a good start.

This Christmas will symbolize not only the birth of God in flesh (symbolize since its' not the actual date) to me this year but also the birth of a new way of thinking in me and a new love for Christ and joy about his coming to the earth.

Love,
Carl

Blue Like Jazz

I finished the book in 4 days. This might be a record for me since childhood when I used to read.

I hope I start reading like this again, it's a very fulfilling activity unlike playing video games for hours just to be distracted from learning about how to live our lives better. (nothing against video games, I do love me some Halo 2)

This book has moved me. It first had me question myself as a Christian (as seen in my last post) and whether I have struggle to look forward to or not...but at the end of the book I was left with a different feeling, a much more satisfying feeling.

In the book Donald Miller talks about a pastor, Bill Bright, that his friend Alan met with. Bill, when asked about what Christ meant to him, was reduced to tears. This man has such a passion and deep appreciation for Christ and such a relationship with him that merely hearing his name can bring him to tears.

Miller then continues to talk about seeing a program on tv about a woman whose son was on death row. He then talks about what it was like seeing her pain when she got the call that he had been executed. He compares this to what Mary must have felt. The feelings that overwhelmed me just reminded me how much of a tradition and how numbed down Christ's death seems to us sometimes, what I felt hurt, but I loved it.

From reading this book I have gained a new perspective, I'm not going to try to find new ways to force God in my life, he has already said he will be with us and I think we need to stop looking for new ways to find God. God reveals himself in so many ways to us and we just are too busy to see them. I don't necessarily need a huge event in my life to define my relationship with Christ, he will connect in whatever he sees fit and I trust that.

I am ready to let Christ move in my life in whichever ways he chooses too, after all, I do not know what is best for me.

I also am ready to just love, as Christ calls us to, I am a huge jerk, usually sarcastically, but sometimes that's even too much. I need to reflect Christ more in my life.

Please call me out on it if you're seeing something I'm doing which does not resemble this, I'm asking you.

Love,
Carl

Is Safety So Bad?

I have read countless blogs and a few books by Christians who have had their faith shaken completely to it's core.

They all write about how it's what ends up defining their faith and it makes their relationship with God even stronger.

I personally have never been shaken in my faith.

Maybe it's because I didn't quite grow up in a Christian home and wasn't really introduced to Christianity until about 4th grade (not really that late except in perspective of the length of my life so far). Could this have some effect since I didn't have a chance to get caught up in a motion, I came willingly.

It's not like my faith is necessarily "safe" I don't stick with easy faith issues or avoid things that might disturb my faith, if anything I sometimes draw towards those.

However, I'm still firm in my faith, I find it more each day and have never felt closer to God.

Is it possible that some people just don't need to be shaken? Some people just have the faith they need from all they've been through but have never quite fallen?

Maybe there's more to come, maybe something will rock me horribly, I'm only 18.
-----------
I'm currently reading Blue Like Jazz, that's what sparked this for me...great book

Mac OSX 10.5 Leopard

is amazing. 'nuff said.

♥ Charl

Vampires, Werewolves, and Slayers, OH MY!

For anyone who uses facebook I'm sure you've either added one of the zombie, vampire, werewolf, or slayer applications or you absolutely hate all the invites you get for it.

I hate them. They're stupid applications, and there's way too many applications on facebook.

I realize some applications are pretty cool...but I almost feel like it would be better to go back to no applications instead of all these stupid ones.

Sorry about the rant.

♥ Charl

FAST

God really just put it on my heart this morning [or night, whichever it is right now] that I really need to fast to focus on him.
This is the result of it.

for the actual file please follow this link: http://www.mediafire.com/?591mymkd1lm



FAST
A two-day journey to grow closer to God













Morning of October 17th- Night of October 18th
2007
A little bit of background on fasting and the guidelines

Who was the first person in the bible to fast?
Moses was the first person in the bible recorded to have fasted.

What is the longest amount of time anyone has ever fasted?
40 days is the longest time anyone has ever fasted.

Why fast?
We fast to completely focus on our communication and relationship with God. (Yes you can pray when you’re not fasting, but you can’t fast without praying)

God said, "When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you" (Jeremiah 29:13,14)

What does this fast restrict us from?
We will keep from eating or drinking.

What will we do differently besides not eat or drink?
We will have biblical readings to look over and contemplate on. We will pray quite a bit more than usual and have a few times of worship.

What happens if we break the fast?
Nothing. This is completely between you and God.



Optional additional fast- MEDIA FAST
- Don’t get on the internet unless it’s for school
- Don’t watch TV.
- Don’t listen to music (participating in worship is allowed)
- Don’t watch movies (unless for class)
- Refrain from using your cell phone unless necessary

Day 1: Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

Suggestions:
- When reading the bible passages try to find a secluded place where you won’t be distracted
- Sing to the Lord whatever’s on your heart
- Anytime you feel lead to read something else go ahead and do that
Morning Bible Reading
Read Ezra 8:21-23; 10:6

What is your personal reason for fasting for these two days?

Think of what you hope to accomplish in yourself through this.

Suggested prayer topic: Pray to God that he would move you during this time.
Mid-day Bible Reading
Read Psalm 69

How often do you feel like life is too hard to get past?

Do you generally look at God in these times? What about when things aren’t going too bad?

Suggested prayer topic: Pray to God that you would make this Psalm your own

Afternoon Bible Reading
Read 2 Corinthians 11:16-33

Many boast for their success…is it wrong to boast about our sufferings?

What does fasting symbolize to you?

Suggested prayer topic: Pray that God would use today and tomorrow as an experience of suffering to connect you to Christ’s suffering for us.


Congratulations! You made it through the first day!
Make sure as you fall asleep that you pray for strength for the day ahead and continued focus.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13




Day 2: Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

*REMINDER- MAKE SURE TO DRINK PLENTY OF WATER AND TO EAT BREAD SO THAT YOU DO NOT GET SICK OR DEHYDRATED*

Morning Bible Reading
Read Matthew 4:1-4

What does man live off of if it is not bread alone?

How does this verse represent Christ in relation to food?

Suggested prayer topic: Pray that God would use this experience to teach you to rely on Him and realize he is more important than and physical thing.

Mid-day Bible Reading
Read Matthew 6:16-18

Why is it that we don’t want to make it completely apparent to others that we are fasting?

What is our reward from fasting? Is it tangible?

Suggested prayer topic: Pray to God that he would humble you through fasting and not make you feel higher spiritually than anyone else.

Afternoon Bible Reading
Read Matthew 9:14-16

Why do we fast if the disciples didn’t fast?
If we are new in Christ why do we need not only new life spiritually but also outwardly?

Suggested prayer topic: Pray that this experience would not be forgotten and that you would have benefited greatly spiritually though these two days.



Congratulations! You made it through the second day! Enjoy your food tomorrow and don’t forget where your food comes from.

“Every good and perfect gift comes from above”
James 1:17








Check out www.new-life.net/fasting.htm for more info regarding fasting. It is a very helpful website and was a huge source in making this event happen!

Emery- I'm only a man

1. "Rock-N-Rule"
Favorite line from this song: "This is a waking up, This is your final call and I would never want to see you get torn apart"
Reasoning for liking this song: Personal connection- "I drove around Chicago, headed to Champaign, I passed right through the country, where the corn is as high as any God has ever made"
Rating for the song: 8/10

2. "The Party Song"
Favorite line from this song: "This is my last advice leave with me cause you could die tonight"
Reasoning for liking this song: Personal connection- lots of my friends party and I really wish they wouldn't because they're screwing up their lives.
Rating for the song: 7/10

3. "World Away" (one of my favorite songs off the album)
Favorite line from this song: "No, I don't want to be, The one who lives a lie But never knew it."
Reasoning for liking this song: music feel- has a very catchy beat
Rating for the song: 9/10

4. "After the Devil Beats his Wife"
Favorite line from this song: "This is the pain of believing"
Reasoning for liking this song: personal connection- We can't save all our friends on our own and it really hurts
Rating for the song: 9/10

5. "Can't Stop the Killer"
Favorite line from this song: "She was never perfect, oh, my friend, neither were you."
Reason for liking this song: musical feel- has a very catchy beat
9/10

6. "Story About a Man With a Bad Heart"
Favorite line from this song: "I'm only a man."
Reason for liking this song: musical feel and very moving and climatic
9/10

7. "Don't Bore Us, Get Us To The Chorus"
Favorite line from this song: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
Reason for liking this song: very catchy and I've had the opening line stuck in my head all day
What I don't like about this song: The chorus besides the techno beat sounds exactly like "The Party Song", the intro is horrible...it should start from when he says "As we sit and wait for the curtains to fall"
6/10

8. 'What Makes A Man A Man"
Favorite line from this song: none
Reason for liking this song: Pretty acoustic intro, amazing beat once all instruments come in
8/10

9. "The Movie Song"
Favorite line from this song: "its your face I can't take and my knees are about to buckle the same way as they did the night you walked through my door"
Reason for liking this song: Sounds similar to "The Party Song" at first like it's supposed to but is completely different and extremely catchy
9/10

10. "You Think You're Nickel Slick (But I Got Your Penny Change)"
Favorite line from this song: "Your conscience is pleading as you start believing that what you’re doing is not for you"
Reason for liking this song: very catchy and good music
8/10

11. "From Crib to Coffin"
Favorite line from this song: "I used to be a better man. But the regret came, and here I am"
Reason for liking this song: it's very epic, and when you have time to listen to the whole song it's very moving
9/10

Emery- I'm Only A Man
8/10 based on this CD
6/10 in comparison to their other CDs

I thought I didn't like this CD as much as I do until I really listened to it this way and read all the lyrics.

♥ Carl

New Stuff Coming

I am going to do some album reviews soon...look forward to those...here are some to look for:

Emery- I'm only a man
Dashboard Confessional- The Shade of Poision Trees
Cartel- Cartel
Waking Ashland- The Well

♥ Charl

Change

Have you ever noticed how apprehensive we are sometimes when it comes to change?
Why do we let it bother us?
Have you ever done something the old way even though it's harder?
Even though the new way is simple and in no ways bad?
Why is this?
Because we strive for familiarity.
We want what we're used to and what we know.
Change
changes
everything
or at least in our minds.

Try and change up your life a little and do stuff in a different order this week and see how that goes...enjoy life and don't let it just become a chore, that's not what the God of the universe made it for.

♥ Charl

My Emotions

We're so quick to let the moment catch us.
Is this really such a bad thing?
Not always.

It's really easy to look at a situation and not see hope even if it's right around the corner and you know it.
We exaggerate time in our minds.
Life is short.
Why do good things always seem so far away?
Because we block out everything else as just decent compared to what we look forward to.

Today I would describe how I feel as "Inevitable" (If you don't know what I mean by that, that's alright), but as I was driving back to college I felt run over with how far away next weekend seems...but then I realized that this week will be fun too.

We need to learn to look forward to moments, but also to enjoy what we have at the time.

I really hope this isn't taken the wrong way...I'm in possibly the best mood of my life, I'm just catching myself from letting time get on my nerves.

If this post confuses you please ask me about this!

My Starbucks

There are several things you find on every [paper] starbucks cup.
These things are:
-The Starbucks Logo
-A Warning of The Extreme Temperatures residing within the cup
-Something letting you know what special thing is in that cup
-A Quote, usually called "The Way I See It #[?]"

These are all part of what makes the starbucks cup what it is.
Believe it or not, one of these gave me a revelation.
...not the logo [which the actual company logo not seen on the cups is quite odd]

Whenever a Christian sees something refering to God in a good way in an unlikely place [such as a starbucks cup] he/she is contented, but when he/she sees something demoting God in an unlikely place [as aforementioned] they are not quite thrilled...but who can blame them

what
about
the
others

Do you think that an athiest smiles when they hear of someone who they don't believe in referenced or refered to in a good way?
or
Do you think they enjoy it more to hear of this "God" who for some reason is not important to them being referenced to as something imaginary?

...it's most likely the second

but it's so easy for us to just think about ourselves when we read things and not think, well what if I wasn't Christian, would I maybe actually enjoy this?

I feel like it's not a matter of respect when you give an opinion, it's a matter of letting someone have their own opinion and not being bothered by it. Loving whether you agree with their beliefs or not.

just love.

-Carl

feel free to leave comments letting me know your opinion on this matter

p.s. if you haven't noticed...i've decided that I will try to stick to revelations and college updates on here

My Perilous Sneeze

No the title is not a misspelling or freudian slip, this week I had a perilous sneeze.

Let me start with this bit of info:
Because of my surgery I am not supposed to sneeze with my mouth shut. Strange? Yes, but this is because of all the pressure that comes with a sneeze.

Turns out I only need to sneeze once since my surgery so far, and I freaking blow it. I forgot to open my mouth and right afterwards the only thought in my mind was "crap."

It came to get me saturday night. I was in a lot of pain and trying to sleep, but by 4 in the morning [sunday] not having had any luck with that I finally decided to tell my dad that I am in desparate need of pain pills. I was also bleeding quite a bit [not as gross as it sounds...I have to wear a cotton ball in my ear with medicine on it, so it's not like blood was dripping out of my ear].

I take them and sleep comes quickly.

So Sunday around 12 my dad and I go to the hospital to find out that it was just the sneeze and I'm fine, so they gave me some more pain meds just in case.

I feel great now and don't even have drainage, this is defiantely a prayer [or a few] answered!

Carl