Advent

I attended Vespers (Thursday Night Chapel) last night to only be stirred in an interesting fashion.

Advent is anticipation, and the Advent season is anticipating Christmas- Christ's Birth.

I cannot remember the last time that I actually looked forward to celebrating the birth of my savior.

I always say how I hate the commercialization of Christmas and how it has lost its' meaning through all the traditions, Santa, and all that crap, but honestly I'm just as caught up in that stuff as the next person, in a different way though.

Most people spend all their time enjoying all the festivities and partaking in whatever Christmas has been made into. I spend all my time hating what its' become in America's eyes.

This year I'm going to have Christmas mean more to me in a few different ways.

1. I'm going to focus on being joyous about the birth of Christ

2. I'm not going to worry about how other people celebrate the holiday

3. I'm going to take the holiday seriously as well, remember that its' about Christ

I think that's a good start.

This Christmas will symbolize not only the birth of God in flesh (symbolize since its' not the actual date) to me this year but also the birth of a new way of thinking in me and a new love for Christ and joy about his coming to the earth.

Love,
Carl

Blue Like Jazz

I finished the book in 4 days. This might be a record for me since childhood when I used to read.

I hope I start reading like this again, it's a very fulfilling activity unlike playing video games for hours just to be distracted from learning about how to live our lives better. (nothing against video games, I do love me some Halo 2)

This book has moved me. It first had me question myself as a Christian (as seen in my last post) and whether I have struggle to look forward to or not...but at the end of the book I was left with a different feeling, a much more satisfying feeling.

In the book Donald Miller talks about a pastor, Bill Bright, that his friend Alan met with. Bill, when asked about what Christ meant to him, was reduced to tears. This man has such a passion and deep appreciation for Christ and such a relationship with him that merely hearing his name can bring him to tears.

Miller then continues to talk about seeing a program on tv about a woman whose son was on death row. He then talks about what it was like seeing her pain when she got the call that he had been executed. He compares this to what Mary must have felt. The feelings that overwhelmed me just reminded me how much of a tradition and how numbed down Christ's death seems to us sometimes, what I felt hurt, but I loved it.

From reading this book I have gained a new perspective, I'm not going to try to find new ways to force God in my life, he has already said he will be with us and I think we need to stop looking for new ways to find God. God reveals himself in so many ways to us and we just are too busy to see them. I don't necessarily need a huge event in my life to define my relationship with Christ, he will connect in whatever he sees fit and I trust that.

I am ready to let Christ move in my life in whichever ways he chooses too, after all, I do not know what is best for me.

I also am ready to just love, as Christ calls us to, I am a huge jerk, usually sarcastically, but sometimes that's even too much. I need to reflect Christ more in my life.

Please call me out on it if you're seeing something I'm doing which does not resemble this, I'm asking you.

Love,
Carl

Is Safety So Bad?

I have read countless blogs and a few books by Christians who have had their faith shaken completely to it's core.

They all write about how it's what ends up defining their faith and it makes their relationship with God even stronger.

I personally have never been shaken in my faith.

Maybe it's because I didn't quite grow up in a Christian home and wasn't really introduced to Christianity until about 4th grade (not really that late except in perspective of the length of my life so far). Could this have some effect since I didn't have a chance to get caught up in a motion, I came willingly.

It's not like my faith is necessarily "safe" I don't stick with easy faith issues or avoid things that might disturb my faith, if anything I sometimes draw towards those.

However, I'm still firm in my faith, I find it more each day and have never felt closer to God.

Is it possible that some people just don't need to be shaken? Some people just have the faith they need from all they've been through but have never quite fallen?

Maybe there's more to come, maybe something will rock me horribly, I'm only 18.
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I'm currently reading Blue Like Jazz, that's what sparked this for me...great book